Baby Carrots and Movies

I am watching Age of Love. It is appalling. For those who don't know, this show follows Mark Phillippoussis as he dates women in their 20s and women in their 40s. I love how he refers to them as "the 40s" and "the 20s." Oh, what a dreamboat.

The other day at work, there were two signs on the refrigerator that said, "PLEASE HELP YOURSELF TO THE BABY CARROTS IN THE FRIDGE," followed by a smiley face. I found this very off-putting and funny for two reasons:

1. A quick read makes one mistake "baby carrots" for "baby."

2. There were two signs. On the same fridge. Was someone concerned that the first sign was not indication enough that there were communal baby carrots available? I also like how the sign specified that the carrots were, in fact, "in the fridge" for that one person who was totally psyched about carrots, but was like, "BUT WHERE ARE THEY?!" not thinking to check the same fridge where the two signs were posted.

A clever co-worker made his own version of the sign in ominous-looking serial killer font and posted it over one of the two signs. Someone later moved the serial killer baby carrot sign to a wall and drew an arrow in highlighter pointing to - you guessed it - the fridge. I believe the next step is to print out 50 signs and post them all over the office with arrows pointing to wherever the fridge is from that particular location.

I have watched some movies lately...

Babel - Good, but a little pretentious. I don't really need Hollywood to enlighten me about cultural differences, you know? There were some very interesting parts of this movie, particularly the whole Mexico segment, but there were also some very extraneous parts. The young Japanese actress was very good, but that whole storyline felt only loosely connected to the rest of the movie ... and a tad exploitative. Like, was there any need for it other than to showcase a naked Japanese girl?

Little Children - Very good. Kate Winslet is just lovely. The guy who played the sex offender was both creepy and pitiful. It fell apart a bit on the ending, but I mostly found this very engaging and an interesting examination of the underbelly of suburban life (with edge ... more like Weeds than Desperate Housewives).

Notes on a Scandal - This was an extremely stupid movie, which made it AWESOME. So, okay, Cate Blanchett is this teacher who has an affair with a 15 year old student, right? And Judi Dench is her friend and fellow teacher who finds out about the affair and basically uses it to blackmail Cate for her friendship because Judi Dench - Judi Dench, people! - has this big ole lesbian obsession with her. It is so ridiculous and campy and totally entertaining.

Does converting to Scientology make you lose your fashion sense?

I often become obsessed with pop culture minutiae (which makes the fact that I get paid for this skill pretty lucky). Recently, I was riveted by Paris Hilton's comings and goings from jail, for example. I sat glued to my television, constantly refreshing my computer, waiting on the edge of my seat to see if she would be forced back into the pokey. I may never be the most highbrow person in the room and I am mostly okay with that.

Some recent photos that have surfaced reminded me of my pop culture obsession a couple of summers ago - the downfall of Tom Cruise. All of a sudden, he was everywhere ... jumping on couches, professing his love to Katie Holmes and picking fights with Matt Lauer about psychotropic drugs. Fake Relationship + Mental Breakdown = Schadenfreude Gold.

Quckly thereafter the Summer of Crazy came Katie's pregnancy, in which the size of her prosthetic stomach seemed to shift daily. I swore to everyone I knew that she and Tom Cruise could not have possibly conceived a child through sexual intercourse ... it just did not happen. It is far more likely that Katie was, say, pregnant with Chris Klein's baby when they first got together and the dates were shifted around to make it look like Tom is the father as they had just entered into their weird deal for her to serve as his Scientology bride. (These are the types of things I think about. If only I could direct this energy towards, say, politics or community service or something outside the realm of what is covered in Us Weekly.)

Katie, Tom, and Suri are currently frolicking in France. Most of the pictures show Suri looking as if she is plotting her escape from that maniacally smiling man who is constantly looming over here, and Katie dressed like this. Not only are the heels on the beach bizarre, but the suit! It looks like something out of a 1980's episode of Days of Our Lives. (I actually like the haircut, although it does age her.)

Oh, Katie. You used to dress cute! You used to appear in interviews where you did not only say the word "amazing" over and over again! There still might be hope for you - just take Suri and RUN.

Say hello to your friends...

A friend of mine recently pointed me in the direction of this blog:

http://www.claudiasroom.blogspot.com/

Like most girls my age, I was a Baby-Sitters Club obsessee when I was a kid (And actually, I continued reading these books way longer that what would probably be considered socially acceptable. Those things were my crack. In fact, a friend and I once wrote to Ann M. Martin - who I hear is a lesbian now, FYI - and told her that we were such fans, and such detail-oriented and dedicated fans at that, that we would happily take over the writing of the books when she retired. In return, we received a form letter with the same paragraph accidentally photocopied twice. A part of me died that day.)

This blogger is working her way through the books and commenting on them with adult eyes. (I've read some of these books as an adult, too, and really, Dawn Schaeffer sucks. She is one of those people who love to act like they are laid-back and nonjudgmental while actually being incredibly judgmental about everyone who does not live according to her rigid set of standards. SOME PEOPLE JUST LIKE RED MEAT, DAWN. DEAL. )

Anyway, read it - its funny.

"There are five different types of chairs in this room."

The New York Times recently ran an article called "On Abortion, Hollywood is No Choice," in which the author states, "Many conservative bloggers have claimed Knocked Up as an anti-choice movie, in part because the movie never presents abortion as a serious option."

I recently saw Knocked Up, and frankly, I disagree. Katherine Heigl's character, Allison, did consider abortion, as did Seth Rogan's Ben and his stoner friends (even though they called it a "shmamortion"). Sure, the issue was resolved pretty quickly, but ultimately, this movie is a romantic comedy about a mismatched couple getting to know one another through an unplanned pregnancy. In terms of pacing, how much time do we need to give the topic of abortion? Everyone in the movie theatre already knew that Allison was going to have the baby; the entire premise of the movie ensured that any consideration of abortion had to be perfunctory.

I am pro-choice and a liberal, and I find it a stretch to call Knocked Up anti-choice. After consideration, Allison made the choice to have the child and when she informed Ben of her choice, he responded that he hoped it was the choice she would make, yet he applied no pressure on her. The path of these characters felt natural and organic - why sacrifice good writing to deliver some heavy-handed message about abortion?

I have also read bloggers complaining about the fact that Allison essentially lowers herself to be with the father of her child - an unattractive slacker. I also beg to differ on this point. Ben may not have had his shit together at first, but he is essentially a good person who cares for her. Allison even (SPOILERS!) dumps him at one point, forcing Ben to examine his priorities to win her back.

I was actually extremely impressed with the women in this film, who were much more well-developed than Catherine Keener's character in The 40 Year Old Virgin. Leslie Mann's role as the overbearing sister could have come across as shrill and annoying, but she was real and sympathetic and even charming. The scene where she told off the bouncer was brilliant. I liked that the relationship between Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann was not a perfect foil for the dysfunction of Allison and Ben. They were dysfunctional, as well, and yet, loved each other and tried to make it work.

Ultimately, this is an extremely funny movie, and Judd Apatow is one of the freshest writers working in Hollywood. He brilliantly weaves topical pop culture banter, crude humor, likable characters, and sweetness.

(Side note: I also rewatched Clueless over the weekend. How is it possible that Paul Rudd is even cuter now than he was in 1995?)

Hugh Jackman or Ewan McGregor?

Sometimes, heated arguments develop over very strange things.

Today, my manager and I - quite unexpectedly - found ourselves in a disagreement over Hugh Jackman and Ewan McGregor and who is "better." The definition of "better" varied over the course of the argument. It started (from my perspective) based on singing ability, and then developed into an argument about work output and contribution to popular culture. I had no idea I had such passionate feelings about the issue until this discussion.

Other colleagues who were unfortunate enough to wander by during the argument were forced to give their opinions. As unlikely as it seems, both men and women digested the question and considered it in a deliberate manner. Some of the responses included (paraphrased):

"Well, Hugh Jackman is a pretty boy. I'd rather go on a road trip with Ewan McGregor. I think he'd be a better wingman ... wait, are we talking about their movies?"

"Ewan McGregor for his accent. Oh, and the fact that he is in Star Wars."

"HOW IS THIS EVEN A QUESTION?! TRAINSPOTTING!!"

"WOLVERINE!"

"I'd rather look like Ewan McGregor."

"Why are you even comparing them? They are totally dissimilar. Its like comparing apples...and cubes."

An impartial colleage decided to tackle the issue in a scientific manner and created a chart on her whiteboard, taking all variables (reasons, gender) into account. At the end of the day, it was 11 to 10 in favor of Ewan.

As silly as it seems, there are many valid reasons to compare these two actors. Both are handsome, charismatic foreigners. Both star in cult film series. Both sing and dance. Personally, I have a fondness for Hugh Jackman based on his musical theatre background. I saw The Boy From Oz and Hugh Jackman gave one of the most energetic and compelling performances I have ever seen. (Also, he's tall, dark, and handsome. Call me, Hugh!)

Next week's debate (per request): Betty or Veronica?

Who do you prefer - Ewan McGregor or Hugh Jackman?

• Ewan McGregor - Obi Wan!


• Hugh Jackman - Wolverine!


• I love all men with accents.


• Get a life, dude.

Created on June 7, 2007

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Car Accidents Make You Stupid

I was in a car accident this week, which has not only made my neck perpetually sore and forced me to become more reliant on walking, but also has made me ditzier (than usual).

To wit: Yesterday, I was riding the bus, gabbing on my cell phone, and wanted to check the time. I don't wear a watch, and so I started rifling around my purse. To find my phone. When I didn't find it in its usual pouch, I became somewhat frantic and actually gasped to the person with whom I was speaking, "I think I lost my phone!"

Today, I decided to make a quick trip to D'Angelo's to buy a Cobb salad for lunch. As I was walking through the parking lot to my usual parking space, I grabbed my keys and double-clicked the "unlock" button. To unlock my car. Which is sitting at an autobody in Brighton, Mass. Destroyed. I had a momentary wave of shock, thinking, "But what will I EAT?" before realizing that D'Angelo's is actually a five minute walk away.

The walking that has accompanied my losing my wheels has undoubtedly been beneficial; the stupidity, however, has not.